We have heard the terms- “stay-at-home wives”, “soccer moms”, “trophy wives”, etc. But what would be your expressions when we say, “stay-at-home husbands”, “soccer dads”, “trophy husbands”?
With women sharing equal workplace responsibilities, they no longer allow their dreams and careers to wither after getting married or having a family. With gender equality triumphing, now when a couple is blessed with a child, the possibilities are noted, odds are measured, and worth is weighed, and only then it is decided who will take the burden of financial responsibilities and who will take over the household ones.
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No more does a ‘house husband’ mean that he does not bring a pay cheque home. With technological advancement and numerous ‘work from home’ opportunities, many fathers are working from home, as well as taking care of their family. Similarly even artists, designers and writers work from home. The best example that you can find in our modern India, is the world-renowned, best-selling author Chetan Bhagat who is a happy stay-at-home husband. While his wife Anusha works full-time and has a very successful career, he quit his well-paid bank job to care for their twin sons and concentrate on writing.
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The author of Five Point Someone and 2 States says:
"When my wife became the COO of UBS bank, I quit my job and moved to India. At that point, she was a success and I wasn't. I didn't mind quitting my job and be a stay-at-home husband."
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Now, as more and more women are getting opportunities to explore their potential to its limit, in many cases they do come out to be the better financial option amongst the two partners. Being the better choice, they go out to face problems of the outside world while their men stay indoors to tackle the household problems.
Women are much more cautious than men when it comes to handling household finances and expenditures. Being good at multi-tasking, a mother is better at handling certain problems, such as spending time with family, segregating family and work spaces, making necessary monetary sacrifices, and setting a budget, which in most cases a working man might fail to achieve.
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A man sacrificing his career to give his woman a chance to realise her dreams is a message of equality. For far too long, women have suffered unfairly the conventional ideas of being “just a homemaker”, and sidelined their ambitions. It is now time for a change.
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As we said before, women are much more careful when it comes to unnecessary expenditure and budgets. Women taking the financial burden of the family only means strengthening the family’s financial backing.
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In many modern families, where both parents are working, kids are often left with maids or at day cares. This means, an additional burden on the family’s finance. With one parent staying at home, the expenditure of extra help can be avoided.
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When couples swap the traditional roles of being the “breadwinner” and the “homemaker”, they begin to respect each other more. They understand the responsibilities and pressures that these roles bring with them. Once a man takes to the household chores, he respects the women around him much more.
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As Chetan Bhagat reveals:
"I was exposed to all kinds of comments initially that you can expect out of most people — 'Oh, so your wife is the breadwinner. How does that work out?'”
Whether he becomes a househusband by his choice or through circumstance, socially this idea is still looked down. This leaves many men feeling powerless in their home as well as in the society.
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When a man turns into a house husband due to certain unfavourable circumstances, it leaves him feeling weak and depressed. He links his “worth” to his inability to provide for his family’s financial needs. Economic dependence at times, leaves a man’s masculinity shaken as well.
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Helena Morrissey, the CEO of Newton Investment Management, is one of London’s financial district’s few female CEOs. The lady, who oversees 47.2 billion pounds and almost 400 employees, is also a mother of nine children. But as she climbed the ladder of the business world, it was her husband Richard, who decided to stay at home to take care of the family. Helena was quoted saying:
"The idea that a woman can have a family and friends and hold down a difficult, high-octane job when both partners work full-time- is a very tall order."
Some of our home-grown success stories of this trend, apart from Chetan Bhagat, involve one of the world’s most powerful businesswomen, Indra Nooyi.
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The Chairman and CEO of PepsiCo runs a lucrative company while her husband Raj Kishan Nooyi, quit his full-time job and became a consultant so that he could look after their two daughters.
Diplomat James Rubin happily gave up his high-profile job to see his wife, accomplished journalist Christiane Amanpour, climb the ladder of success in her career, to share the responsibility of raising their son. Burberry CEO, Angela Ahrendts’ husband also chose to wind up his own business to look after their kids and see her rise in her career.
And, now even the renowned footballer, David Beckham joins the list of house husbands, post his retirement from the world of professional football. On a television show, Beckham candidly said, “I’m lucky to be a househusband,” as he enjoys spending time with his four kids and getting them ready for school, preparing their meals and even putting them to bed at night. Well, we would call him a true blue ‘soccer dad’!
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Our suggestion to you ladies, talk to your husband openly without making assumptions of what they, or others, will say. You never know your Mr. Right might surprise you with his understanding and compassionate nature!
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